Love

Is the most conflicting emotion on earth, it causes want and pain, joy and anger. I love my family so much, but I am the youngest child and often I do feel unimportant and irrelevant even ignored. I honestly know that they love me and that this is not their intention and when I complain they apologize.
This only makes me feel worse.
1. Because I really didn't want to hurt them or make them feel like I don't know and feel their love, which makes me feel really guilty. Especially my Mom work has been particularly stressful on her lately and my Father is a jerk and hurt really bad, so when I act up I make her feel bad but its really not her fault if she knew she was going it she would stop. I feel so cruel when I put my own wants if front and add another stress to her plate.
2. Which us brings us to my second point and the one that makes me react so strongly, they don't do it on purpose. It sounds backwards but I would feel so much better if they all did it on purpose, because then it would mean it was a conscious thought that "me" was an active part of. But when they don't realize it I know that it means that I just am not important in that way in their minds. And it kills me to see that the love the hold for me doesn't mean anything when I am still considered the whining baby, only to be paid attention to when it cries. I see smiles when I force my opinion, but it was never asked for and if their is another opinion voiced by someone older than it will be taken over mine without the owner even realizing it. In short I am like the wallpaper, pretty and an important part of the room always there, but never really noticed unless soiled.
Enough complaining stop worrying about me and get on with your lives, which I could totally say if anyone at all read this blog or in fact cared.